Onedayavisitorfromthecitycametoasmallruralareatodrivearoundthecountryroads,seehowthefarmslooked,andperhapstoseehowfarmersearnedtheirliving。
Thecitymansawafarmerinhisyard,holdingapigupinhishands,andliftingitsothatthepigcouldeatapplesfromanappletree。Thecitymansaidtothefarmer,"Iseethatyourpiglikesapples,butisn'tthatquiteawasteoftime?"Thefarmerreplied,"What'stimetoapig?"一天，有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村，在乡间路上开着车，想看看农庄是什么样子，也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。
这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上，手中抱着一头猪，并把它举得高高的，好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说，"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的，但是，这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说，"时间对猪有什么意义?"Onegirlwenttothepreacherandconfessedhersin。
Girl:Father,Ihavesinned。Preacher:Whatdidyoudo,littlegirl?Girl:Yesterday,IcalledamanasonofaBitch。Preacher:Why?Whatdidhedotoyou?Girl:Hetouchedmybreast。
Preacher:Youmeanlikethis?(Theguydidit。)Girl:(Alittleshyfromthetouch)Yes。Preacher:That'snoreasontocallhimthat。Girl:Buthealsotookoffmycloth。
Preacher:Youmeanlikethis?(Hediditagain。)Girl:Yes,that'swhathedid。Preacher:That'sstillnoreasontocallhimthat。Girl:Andheputhisyou-know-whatintomyyou-know-what。
。。Preacher:(evillaugh。。。)Youmeanlikethis?(Andyou-know-what)Girl:(Afterafewminutes。。。)Ugh。。。Yeah,that'swhathedid。。。Preacher:Mydeargirl,that'sstillnoreasontocallhima。
。。Girl:ButhehadAIDS!!Preacher:THATSONOFABITCH!!!Whereisthefather?Twobrotherswerelookingatsomebeautifulpaintings。"Look,"saidtheelderbrother。
"Hownicethesepaintingsare!""Yes,"saidtheyounger,"butinallthesepaintingsthereisonlythemotherandthechildren。Whereisthefather?"Theelderbrotherthoughtforamomentandthenexplained,"Obviouslyhewaspaintingthepictures。
"父亲在哪儿？兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”Thepoorhusband"Youcan'timaginehowdifficultitisformetodealwithmywife,"themancomplainedtohisfriend。
"Sheasksmeaquestion,thenanswersitherself,andafterthatsheexplainedtomeforhalfanhourwhymyansweriswrong。可怜的丈夫“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。
”Doesthedogknowtheproverb,too?Thelittleboydidnotlikethelookofthebarkingdog。"It'sallright,"saidagentleman,"don'tbeafraid。Don'tyouknowtheproverb:Barkingdogsdon'tbite?""Ah,yes,"answeredthelittleboy。
"Iknowtheproverb,butdoesthedogknowtheproverb,too?"狗也知道这个谚语吗？一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”。
标签： 英语幽默故事
