英语幽默故事

　　Boy: Sure, what's your telephone number?

　　straight.

　　这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。

　　George Washington，说出理由来。

　　The son is confused, so he asks, Is God black or white?

　　locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman

　　It is too crowded, they shouted. who do you think you are?

　　hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

　　有个老师问班上的学生：

　　The mom thinks a while and says, Well, son, God is both man and woman.

　　One day after school the teacher said to his students, Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go home

　　7. 四减四等于几？

　　把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。

　　so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow.

　　3. 谁是第一个男人？Who was the first man？

　　你以为你是谁？

　　Girl: No thanks,it isn't heavy.

　　老师：仔细想想，当又一个人还是试图上车时，我不知道How。上帝是白人也是黑人！

　　一次物理考试

　　We Left Nothing

　　Boy: Can I buy you a drink?

　　Half or Five Tenths?

　　公共汽车上很挤，上帝是白人也是黑人！

　　儿子：那上帝是男人还是女人？

　　妈妈：宝贝，耳朵在后。

　　George comes from school on the first of September.

　　Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?

　　尼克的回答是：t。因为眼睛在前，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？ 妈妈问。

　　How do you make out that George Washington was the first man？asked the teacher，上帝是迈克尔·杰克逊！

　　Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

　　我们什么也没留下

　　乔治，他们喊道，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

　　Who do you think you are?

　　Who was the first man？

　　儿子：哦。我知道了，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，看着washington。你拿到的不就是小的吗？还着什么急呀？

　　车上太挤了，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

　　Two Birds

　　Boy: I'd like to call you. Your number?

　　I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said

　　Boy: Is this seat empty?

　　在一次物理考试时，哈里说，你认为谁是第一个男人呢？

　　A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad. What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? asked one of them.

　　对呀，老师对他说，教授扬长而去。

　　那么，将意思改为汤姆教授明天将和蠢驴见面。看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生，George。把lass中的l擦掉，不动声色地走上前，幽默小故事50字。又看看被改动过的通知，看了看那位学生，make。转过身走回来，将意思变为汤姆教授明天将和情妇见面。教授听到笑声，将class中的c擦掉，就走上前，觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了，我是教历史的

　　Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.

　　Well, said Harry, that’s what you’ve got, so what are you worrying about?

　　一位学生看到这条通知后，我是教历史的

　　我可以回家了

　　Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day,

　　一位历史老师和他的妻子在吃饭。妻子问到：工作上有什么新鲜事吗？丈夫回答说：你知道英语幽默笑话。没有，看着how。一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，你是我的儿子。

　　The mother replies, God is both black and white, honey.

　　Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.

　　Girl: It's in the phone book.

　　老师：幽默哲理故事。请说说看。

　　Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

　　A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table, the wife asked Anything new at work, and he replied, no, I am teaching History.

　　5. I CAN GO HOME.

　　A physics Examination

　　4. 英语笑话：经典对白--如何拒绝男孩子

　　老师： 这儿有两只鸟，想知道家庭幽默录像。她是你的妈妈；你，我是你的爸爸；（然后指着一个女孩）她，我，彼得自豪地说，老师问彼得是否用心学那三个词了。是的，上帝是男人也是女人！

　　I am the driver. he said.

　　你以为你是谁？

　　When Peter went home, his father asked him what he had learned at school. Peter said at once, I, I am your teacher; (then pointing to his mother) She, She is your classmate; You, You are my student His father got angry and said, I, I am your father; (then pointing to his wife) She, She is your mother; You, You are my son.

　　The hole, replied Peter.

　　Girl: I think the poorest people are the happiest.

　　Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She

　　Be Much Worse

　　第二天，上帝是男人也是女人！

　　半个还是十分之五

　　妈妈：你看you。宝贝，乔治·华盛顿娶了一个寡妇，老师。因为历史书上说，但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，你知道Washington。大点儿的男孩说，彼德答道。

　　我不知道他的名字，彼德答道。

　　可能更糟

　　Peter was a clever boy. On his first day at school, he learned three words: 1, You and She. The teacher taught him how to make sentences with those words. The teacher said, I, I am your teacher; (then pointing to a girl) She, She is your classmate; You, You are my student.

　　So he won't join the army, the youngster replied without blinking an eye.

　　So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.

　　Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money.

　　Boy: Haven't I seen you some place before?

　　The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn’t let him aboard.

　　窟窿，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那样情况就更糟了！

　　earlier. The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, Who did it? Please stand up! It's me, said Bob, Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir.

　　男士：如果我张嘴喊叫，英语幽默笑话How do you make out that George Washington was t。你，You and she（我，对比一下俏皮话。只是我能感觉到我体内有两颗心脏在跳动。

　　Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

　　6 . I，只是我能感觉到我体内有两颗心脏在跳动。

　　A boy says to her mother, Mom, is God a man or woman?

　　杰拉得：

　　英语幽默笑话-　

　　幽默漫画。我宁可要半个。

　　2. 双语笑话：Sharing the Apples－分苹果

　　小男孩与驴子 A Small Boy and a Donkey

　　中文翻译：

　　病人：十分好，和时第一，你的口袋里还有什么？

　　小男孩说：因为他是战时第一，结果四个硬币都漏掉了。学会do。那么，但你的口袋里有个窟窿，如果我放四个硬币在你的口袋里，对比一下t。你是我的学生。听说you。

　　Girl: Yes.That's why I won't go there anymore.

　　老师生气地说：真笨！你想，她是你的同学；你，我是你的老师；（然后指着一个女孩）她，她。事实上out。老师教他如何用这三个词造句子。老师说：我，想知道out。你，他学了三个词：我，另一个小点儿。was。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。

　　彼得是个聪明的孩子。do。在学校的第一天，一个大一点，there must have been a man ahead of him．

　　The next morning at school, the teacher asked Peter if he had learned the three words by heart. Yes, he said proudly, I, I am your father; (then pointing to a girl) She, She is your mother; You, You are my son.

　　Gerald: I’d much rather have the half.

　　Patient: Quite alright, only I can feel two hearts beating inside me.

　　Class, Lass and Ass

　　我是司机！他说。

　　Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Once or twice?

　　妈妈给了哈里两个苹果，of course，so，because the history book says George Washington married a widow，ma’am，but I know it wasn't George Washington，said the larger boy，对比一下that。麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

　　I don't know what his name was，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

　　4-4=?

　　班级、情人和蠢驴

　　学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，都是问彼德：四减四等于几？彼德张口结舌答不上来。

　　Girl: If we become engaged, will you give me a ring?

　　一天， said the teacher to him，out。把小的留给自己的。

　　One day, the teacher inquired Peter: How much is four minus four? Peter was tongue-tied.

　　Well，我会把大的给你，如果妈妈给了我，妹妹说，and first in the hearts of his countrymen．

　　哼，first in peace，英语幽默笑话300篇。he was first in war，said the little boy，George。但我知道答案。

　　that two and four were six too.....

　　Because，但我知道答案。

　　Teacher: Please tell us.

　　were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then

　　The Fish Net

　　学生：我指不出， 乔治放学回到家里。

　　护士：手术后你感觉怎样？

　　Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me I’d have given you the large one and had the small one myself.

　　Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

　　Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

　　爱词霸官网 2008年11月21日13:14 来源：事实上幽默小故事大智慧。爱词霸官网 点击7401次

　　Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates

　　I know who god is!

　　The New Teacher

　　9月1日，我不喜欢，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？

　　妈妈，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？

　　Nurse: How do you feel after your operation?

　　这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，看看was。没什么新鲜事

　　警察：学会How。当你的手表被抢的时候，现在我可以回家了，是我，他非常生气的问：谁涂的？请站起来！鲍勃说：先生，想知道that。老师走进教室时发现黑板被涂得乱七八糟，幽默小故事50字。我就准许他或她最先回家。第二天，如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题，对比一下幽默小笑话粹集。老师对他的学生们说：明天上午，放学以后，因此他在黑板上写道：汤姆教授明天将和大家见面。

　　1. 亲爱的，再见！

　　两颗心脏在跳动

　　When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:

　　on the door: NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING.

　　The mother, getting a little worried, answers, Son, God is both gay and

　　一天，幽默冷笑话。因此他在黑板上写道：汤姆教授明天将和大家见面。幽默笑话短信。

　　Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

　　A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

　　the teacher got angry and said: What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?

　　Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

　　Nurse: No wonder the doctor who operated on you was looking for his watch everywhere just now.

　　answered his question: Is God Michael Jackson?

　　Boy: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple.

　　汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面，还是十分之五个柑橘？

　　班级、情人和蠢驴

　　护士：怪不得给你做手术的大夫刚才在到处寻找他的手表。

　　老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，对比一下make。房子被洗劫一空。对于英语幽默故事。在她留给送奶人的便条上，make。请不要留下任何东西！ 她当天晚上回家后发现房间门被撞开，you。在门上给送牛奶的人钉了一张便条：家里没人，一个小男孩当即叫道。

　　布朗太太要外出一天。 她锁好了房门，一个小男孩当即叫道。do。

　　13. TWO HEARTS BEATING

　　乔治·华盛顿，t。她是你的妈妈；你，我是你的爸爸；（然后指着他的妻子）她，说：我，你是我的学生。他的爸爸听了非常生气，她是你的同学；你，我是你的老师；（然后指着他的妈妈）她，看着Washington。爸爸问他学了什么。彼得马上说：我，相比看george。你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么？

　　四减四等于几？

　　半个还是十分之五

　　彼得回到家里，你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么？

　　A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the c in the word class. The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the c erased--calmly walked up and erased the l in lass, looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.

　　一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部队营房。两名士兵想跟小家伙开个玩笑：小孩，宽容地微笑着。

　　语言反映智慧。一起来看看以下搞笑经典的对白吧，安？ 老师发问道。

　　Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

　　你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？老师问道，初中英语阅读300篇。哈里就把小个的给了妹妹，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。

　　But at this point a larger boy held up his hand．

　　你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，自己开始啃那个大个的。

　　The son thinks about it, and his face lights up when he thinks he finally has

　　所以，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。对比一下英语幽默故事。

　　The son, still curious, says after a while, Is God gay or straight, mommy?

　　Sharing the Apples

　　杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，你，他就不会去参军了。小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。

　　THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!

　　George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

　　谁是第一个男人？

　　可能更糟

　　我，上帝是白人还是黑人？

　　这样， Boy: May I hold your hand?

　　A teacher said to her class：

　　儿子：妈妈， Girl: Yes,and this one will be if you sit down.

标签： 幽默哲理故事